Monday Must: Lessons from Marriage, for Life

Hi! As you may know, I’m Mary - the Mary of MARY YOUNG. Though you may not know I’m an Aries sun and moon and Sagittarius rising; I love slow hobbies like knitting and puzzles but also gravitate towards fast paced activities like running. I don’t know much about astrology so if that relates to my signs please shoot me a message to fill me in! 

Aside from being the founder, designer and CEO of MARY YOUNG, I have a full life outside of work. Being an entrepreneur is all encompassing but I’ve always strived to find balance, understanding that it isn’t always possible but embracing the ebbs and flows; and to not let my work define me and my successes. Personal relationships have always helped me stay balanced and true to who I am as an individual. 

Despite society telling women that our ultimate goal in life is to get married, I did just get married! I never looked at it like an accomplishment though - it doesn’t define my worth, my success or my value. My marriage is a partnership, the ultimate partnership, and it is extremely exciting to have someone in my corner to support me in all areas of my life, and vice versa. 

Even though I've been in a committed relationship for years, lived together and occasionally worked together, life is different after marriage. Being married is definitely not a fresh start, but it is a new chapter in my life and these are some of the biggest learnings I’ve had so far that can apply to any relationship - platonic or romantic - that hopefully you can bring into your life. 

Celebrate the little things

This isn’t rocket science or something new, we hear about celebrating the little things all the time but ask yourself, do you really celebrate the little things? Not the big accomplishments or anniversaries but the joys of small things in life. As we’ve all learnt this past year, life can change suddenly and time can fly by without even realizing it. Slowing down to celebrate little things helps grow your bond with those close to you, create memories you’ll reflect on over time and most importantly, add joy to your life. Simple ways to start these little celebrations is to make a nice dinner together, light a candle, put on a playlist and chat about your day or week - share the highlights and things you’re most proud of. Don’t be afraid to brag and celebrate yourself - it’s a safe space and the person you’re sharing it with will be just as happy to celebrate with you too!

Dream and dream big

As children we are always dreaming of new adventures, what we’ll be when we grow up and so much more. As we age, mature and deal with the responsibilities of growing up, we often lose our ability to dream. It’s so important to hold on to those dreams and let them run wild, not only in your mind but also in your close relationships. Talk about what you want to do in life - adventures you want to take, work you want to do, relationships you want to grow, etc. Again, these relationships are a safe space to voice the biggest dreams you have and let your imagination take over. It’s a great practice of manifestation too! 

Dig deep

One of the greatest gifts of close relationships is those deep conversations. Share your fears, worries and deepest thoughts with that person. Sometimes our fears or anxieties become bigger in our minds because we never share them - we circle them in our minds and they grow on their own. Practice opening up and finding a voice to let yourself express how you really feel. These conversations can feel stressful at first but as you continue to dig deeper, you’ll find yourself sharing more freely and openly. Learning to be open will help you in all relationships, giving you more compassion, empathy and communication skills - something we all need in our lives. 

Get curious 

If you’re anything like me you may find yourself very comfortable in your routine and approach to life. It’s easy to find a routine that works perfectly for you and by embracing it you often close the door to spontaneity, adventure and opportunities. Routine can be extremely beneficial but by staying open and allowing yourself to be curious to how others approach things allows for growth. And let’s be honest, we all want growth in life - growth in our careers, relationships, knowledge and more. I try to be as curious as I can within my relationship; how does my husband approach obstacles, ask questions on his thought process and his feelings. By allowing myself to be curious to how others operate I open up myself to shake things up, try new things and keep excitement in my day to day life.

Have fun

I have a tendency to be serious about almost all things in life; focusing on setting and achieving goals, being responsible and mature in all areas. By taking life too seriously I often forget to have fun - to let go, to laugh, be silly and just do something for the sake of doing it. My husband has a very contagious positive personality, so much so that he has made having fun together so easy. Some nights he’ll start doing karaoke in our living room and pouring his whole heart into it. He’ll see something funny on tv and laugh for minutes straight. He has taught me the importance of having fun, of letting your inhibitions go and to not overthink everything. We all know laughter is the best medicine and yet, do you remember the last time you laughed so hard you nearly cried? Shake off the seriousness of life and just have fun!