Monday Must: Ask An Expert: Kendra Adachi

This week we're lucky to have Kendra Adachi. Kendra is a certified Health Coach and is in service to Permission, Truth, and Power. Permission to honour the body, its wisdom & innate guidance. Approving the power we all wield as our intuitive compass, and opening to access the Truth of our sovereign expression.

Here Kendra answers some questions from our community. We hope they resonate with you as much as they have with us!

I grew up in a chaotic household — I now find it hard to exist peacefully. How do I accept the quiet and steadiness?

Begin opening to accept what comes up for you when you are in the quiet and steadiness. What stories, sensations, fears are present when you allow the quiet? This is a patient practice and one that is not done perfectly (you can't do this wrong). If you can start to open to be with, hear, and feel, what comes up in your body when you give it space to arise, it will have a chance to reveal and so, potentially heal. It feels as though there is some protection happening from feeling what likely has been stored in your body from this time growing up. It is safe to let yourself feel it and witness it. I know it can feel scary and uncomfortable. And it may be for the first while. But as you begin to let these parts be seen, and begin to allow them to feel safe to be expressed, they start to lessen the grip of controlling the noise and discomfort you feel when you are in stillness. Open to accept the parts of you that are scared. Listen to them. Slowly let them open to what they need. You are no longer in that household, you get to remind these parts and yourself that you are safe here and now. Again, this is a patient practice.

Secrets to loving my body?

There are no secrets. There’s the choice to open to lean into and turn toward beginning to love and accept your body and everything she holds. This can be a lifelong journey with many invitations as we go. What I have come to experience in my own journey and what I’ve witnessed in my clients is that what is profoundly important is to reorient the ways we attach to and relate to the stories we tell ourselves about our body. The ways we may experience shame, judgment, or harmful narratives. These may continue to come up throughout our lives however, if we can open to approach these narratives with a new lens of compassion, of understanding, we really can soften to allow love in. Notice the ways you may speak to and of yourself and your body. This takes the practice of being so aware. It may be quite conditioned now and so will require commitment to be so present to it. As you observe this, notice how it feels. Notice emotions and stories and even memories that come with these narratives. Pause here. Let the emotions arise and let them be felt. Oftentimes we don’t want to feel how harmful it is to think this way so we avoid and suppress it, creating more disconnect from the body and from feeling her deeply. Let the stories surface. When we give air to stories and conditioned narratives that we have suppressed, they begin to lose their grip and control over you. You can begin to see and feel and most importantly CHOOSE whether you really believe it or not. There is a deep practice I hold in unique sessions with clients called NAKED. It is when we really allow the vulnerable stories that our bodies hold to surface so that we can be with them with an open heart and so much compassion. The places that want to be loved are often places we avoid or we shame. What if we looked at what we thought was shameful and rewrote what we really believed about it? Oftentimes the belief we attached to it isn’t ours to begin with. We just open to sit with them to begin to reorient the relationship with them to then begin to love and accept them. As mentioned, it is lifelong and there can be moments where we’ll hear or feel the tingle of an old narrative want to emerge. From this practice we can embody the remembrance of what is actually true vs the story around it and in the very moment we feel shame want to come in, we are in our power to choose to love and not feed the stories any more. There is no secret, there is the choice to truly turn toward and begin to open and listen. If a NAKED session feels like something you might be ready for, please contact Kendra.

How do I trust my instincts? I'm always looking online for validation on everything.

It’s important to differentiate the feelings of the mind/ego and old patterns/narratives with the truth of the body and the truth of our intuition and instincts. Often if you feel an uncertainty and a confusion it is in the mind. This is a patient practice as with all things. A practice I like to give my clients to begin to feel the difference between the truth in the body and the mind's confusion is to bring forth a recent opportunity whether it’s an invitation to go to a dinner, on a date, or a career opportunity. First allow yourself the space to sit or lay with no distractions. Usually it is best to do what I call a "drop in" which is a breathing and body exercise to really anchor into the body. Let yourself settle. Really land into the body and return to being as present as possible. Noticing the mind and coming back to the body. Once you feel you are present and anchored, bring the opportunity forward and feel into what it would mean to say “yes”. Notice how the body responds. Does it feel relaxed? Are there tingles of excitement? Do emotions that feel expansive arise? It may also feel a little scary but in an excitable kind of way. Or, does the body tense and feel gripped? Does your breath become shallow? Notice if your face frowns or if you start to fidget. Do this again with the opportunity you’ve presented and if you were to say “no”. Again, notice the bodily sensations. The expansive feeling is an energetic feeling in the body. It comes with almost a sigh of relief. This is a very subtle exercise you can do to begin to feel how your body uniquely speaks to you with its guidance. Again, if there is confusion, the mind is likely getting involved. This can require (it does require) patience and space to drop into the body. When you begin to feel what the expansive “yes” is and the contracted “no”, it’s then your responsibility to participate on what is true. The more you Honour what you feel with your actions you may start to experience beautifully opening results. This builds trust in your knowing and it strengthens the connection to this knowing making it easier to feel and access. There’s much more to all of it such as the non-linear ways of life and even if you have been practicing for some time such as I have, there will still be days that the confusion feels louder. This is normal and totally okay. Building a relationship of compassion and not judging when this happens. This in itself can be a sign that we are contracted and haven’t been listening to the intuition and knowing of the body. There is always the opportunity to pause and return to her.

How do you build a "village"? I feel lonely.

The first place to turn to is yourself. I know this can sound cliche but it’s so true. In my experience when I felt lonely there was a place where I needed to become honest with myself and why I felt this way. I had to become true and fully honest. It was hard to admit to myself at first the ways that I participated in feeling lonely. By this I mean, I had to look at where I wasn’t making myself available to be a part of something, the ways I withdrew or avoided connection. There came a point, when I was ready, to really let myself be involved. Now there’s a few things with this. First, I felt somewhat lonely because I had started to recognize that a lot of the people around me were no longer in full alignment with the values and beliefs I was beginning to open to that truly supported my well-being. I began to Honour my boundaries and my body by not choosing to participate in things that were no longer a yes for me. This creates the space between the old choices as I made room for new more aligned connections. This is the spot where you may actually have people and places that are aligned and want to show up and are inviting you forward. I had these but I didn’t say yes because of my own still limiting beliefs. There’s much to unpack here but for the sake of this response I invite you to take a look at who you are surrounded with and perhaps the people that you look up to or admire in your life that I’m sure would say yes to your reaching out to connect. This is where you get to participate in the creation of your village. Lean in and speak to your desire. Also notice the relationships that are no longer a yes and the ways you are choosing to Honour that. Give yourself a moment of grace and gratitude for making these powerful choices. You Honouring what you need for your well-being is expansive and will be felt by those who are meant to be a part of the village you seek. Going back to turning inward, it’s important to note that no one or thing outside of you can make you feel whole. This is an inside job. Yes, connection and community are vital to our well being in every way however, we are the source of our own wholeness. What are ways that you perhaps do not accept or express all of who you are? Can you feel content alone? There is a difference between alone and lonely. We can be in a room full of people and still feel lonely. This is when there is something much deeper and I would say connected to our spiritual health that gets to be looked at and devoted to. A simple and impactful practice if this feels true is to begin to open to enjoying time alone. I feel being in nature is supportive. Practicing presence while smelling the air surrounding trees, the sounds of water trickling in a stream. Another practice that I personally love is being incredibly present with what I desire for nourishment ie making myself a delicious meal! Playing music and feeling myself open and allowing dance or movement. In other words, opening to date myself guided by my internal world of what would nourish me most. Lastly, developing a spiritual practice and connecting with prayer to something greater. Whether this is God, universe, source, spirit. A lot of my work and service has come forth from recognizing the connection of our body with spirit. When we connect here we can open to feel the truth of wholeness that we are. You cannot be lonely when connected here and embody this truth.
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If you desire to chat more on these practices you can email Kendra at hello@adachikendra.com

Bridging the gap between body and spirit, Kendra holds space and guides people to begin to listen and trust their own wisdom from within. This is an experience that is felt as Kendra leads intuitive sessions to support opening of the body and clearing through what no longer serves. She holds an intimate 8-month 1-1 container called The Honouring to truly allow the spaciousness for the body to return to deep trust, reorienting the relationship to self and the body from disconnect to deep loving connection. Kendra's newest container, COMPASS, is a 13-week group experience of devoting to opening, listening, & honouring the ways the body desires to be seen, held, and expressed.