Monday Must: Lessons She Learned in Gratitude

Hi, my name is Dorcas Obayemi. I’m a brand marketing and advertising professional working in tech,  a digital creator sharing fashion & style content online and a podcaster who shares a lot of my life on my show called Lessons She Learned.

On my podcast I reflect on life and what has happened and try to find the nuggets that are helpful to me first and then others.

Gratitude is a practice that often comes from similar life reflections. There are a few moments in life that have evoked this type of reflection and brought about immense gratitude in different forms. I’m sharing a few that are quite vulnerable to me today. I encourage others to add this type of reflection and discover what you might truly be grateful for.

Chronic pain  - Endometriosis & Fibroids

In grade 10 I started to deal with really rough period pain. I would get cramps that would literally make me pass out. Laying on the floor in the fetal position became a very normal part of my monthly cycle. I’ve battled with years of doctors, different prescriptions, natural remedies and trial and error to help ease my pain. After realizing I was dealing with endometriosis and fibroids I had a name but not a ton of answers on what life looked like. It’s been one of the hardest parts of life and incredibly isolating at times. But it has taught me so much gratitude for my body and it’s incredible strength. There are days when I’m truly so grateful that I can move my body pain free. A workout doesn’t feel torturous but actually feels like freedom. There aren’t words that quite express the feeling of being free from deep physical pain. I literally leap for joy some days. It may be unimaginable to find joy in a tough workout but when you really think about how much your body does and how it continues to carry you, take a second to say “thank you”.

Loss & Grief 

I experienced my first real loss of someone I loved in 2013. One of my best friends passed away tragically and suddenly. It took me a long time to process and it still comes with rough days. One thing that I’ve taken from this journey is the immense love and gratitude for the small moments I have with the people I love. Appreciating the power of gratitude has come in situations where I’ve had to deal with the contrasting emotions of deep sadness, pain or loss. But when I get through the tough times, gratitude actually feels so much better, so much more meaningful and much more powerful. I’m learning to create a practice that allows this feeling to come often in my life.

Believing in my own secret sauce 

I’ve struggled a lot with fear in my life. Often around the things that make me, me. My talents, quirks, etc. I’m more and more coming into my own and taking up my space, putting myself out there and trying to minimize self doubt. When I see my accomplishments out in the world or even just a baby step forward I stop to reflect and remind myself of how far I've come. It’s about celebrating the big and small wins but also being grateful that I am uniquely me and standing in the fullness of it.

Cancelled wedding & managing my expectations 

Like many couples last year our wedding was impacted by the pandemic. We had to pivot and trust me when I say it hit me rough! I felt like I was mourning all the expectations I had about my wedding day. I was that little girl who dreamed of her wedding and had many Pinterest boards to prove it. I didn’t think there was a single thing I could be grateful for but after we chose to elope I realized how blessed and grateful I was for my partner. I had always known this but stripping back the celebration and being forced to simply celebrate us amplified everything I love about him already. Never been more grateful for the partner I chose because even without the dress, the dance floor and all the decor he was the only thing I truly cared about. Sometimes when the expectations are stripped your focus can only go to the little nuggets of gratitude.