Mary here again! I wanted to jump in this week of love to share some musts I have for prioritizing the love you have for yourself since it truly is the most important love you have.
I’ve shared on this topic before, some of you may have attended self love events I’ve hosted before (if you have, thank you!) and it’s one close to my heart as I spent most of my twenties nourishing my self-love. Majority of my twenties I was single, lots of first dates, even a handful of blind dates but very few second dates. Aside from not meeting many individuals I connected with, my first priority was connecting with myself. Learning about what brings me joy, creating a life that was fulfilling outside of relationships and soaking up my single years while I had them. These are a few of my musts for prioritizing love for yourself that I’ve learned and revisit - even more so now that I’m married and my life is busier than it was in my twenties.
Enjoy The Everyday
As a society we often overlook the good in each day. We move through one task to another without slowing down to be present and find joy. I really leaned into embracing daily joy during my twenties by adding small moments that feel bigger and more special. Going for a walk to get coffee became a 10 minute break from work to be present, feel the sun on my skin, hear the birds sing and taste every flavour of the coffee. Even better when it’s a whole evening in to enjoy. I would make myself my favourite meal, pour myself a glass of wine and watch a raptors game. The days I focused on enjoying the little or big moments I could feel the love for myself grow. Spending time alone and in my own company became my favourite person to spend time with.
Do It For You
I’ve always been the type of person to focus on the future - on something to look forward to that gets me through the monotony of life. I didn’t realize how this mindset was robbing me of joy - especially when it came to being single. In my early twenties I kept holding out for when I would find my partner to do the fun things in life. Then I would travel more, I would have dinner dates I’d imagined and so much more. What I didn’t realize at the time was I was in control of all of those things and I could have them today - not later when I found a partner. I started looking at everyday as an opportunity to choose that joy for myself as an individual and not wait for someone to bring that into my life.
Say it Until You Believe it
We all have insecurities and as we age they will change, but being aware of them and acknowledging them is the first step in turning negatives into positives. If we continue to say or even think the negative thoughts the more they become the truth to us. Manifestation is real and speaking it aloud is even better. Start with catching negative thoughts or comments you make about yourself and correct them into positive comments. Start each day giving yourself a compliment and telling yourself that you love you, for all you are. Say it, hold space for it and don’t stop until you believe it.
I’m sure you’ve heard this before but I cannot swear by it enough. Date yourself, exactly how you want to be dated. Take yourself out for brunch or dinner to places you want to go with a significant other. Dress up, order a drink or dessert and be present. Be aware of how it feels to be with yourself on a date you’d love to have. It can be as simple as picking up a coffee and walking through a neighbourhood you love. Take yourself on dates that will fill you up and add joy to your life. Dating yourself will help you manifest the relationship you want and when you find that person(s), you will feel it more clearly.