Week 4: Beauty in Boundaries
Boundaries are practical in every sense of the word but there’s more than just practicality to boundaries. By understanding and respecting others boundaries while also exploring your own, you will find beauty within these boundaries. Our reflections from the past three weeks have allowed us to implement our own boundaries and hopefully by doing so you’re already experiencing the rewards.
By exploring boundaries a common theme that comes up is realizing how much of a ‘giver’ you truly are – and to a fault. By prioritizing others needs and giving into their requests you’ve been denying yourself of the boundaries you know in your gut to be best for you. By taking time to reflect on what YOU need from and within relationships you can better set boundaries and find your confidence and self-esteem in drawing that line in the sand. This also allows others who you’re in relationship with to see you as more than just a ‘giver’ or ‘yes man’ and actually get to know you better for who you are. This allows a better understanding and connection in relationship that builds trust and a stronger sense of security with those closest to you. Talk about a healthy give and take!
By determining and implementing boundaries you are actually relieving yourself of long term stress and pressure. Though it may feel like more work up front to identity and implement boundaries, the sooner you do the sooner you will start to receive understanding and support from those in your life. For example, having blurred boundaries between your work life and personal life has been linked to unhealthier lifestyles and lower levels of happiness. What may feel like an easier response upfront to give into someone pushing your boundary or pressure has a long term affect on your mental health and overall well being.
I hope as you’ve explored boundaries from both sides – determining yours and respecting others – you’ve been able to see that boundaries are not confrontational and are in-fact a positive for everyone involved. Remember that like anything else in life, boundaries will change as you grow and benefit from being revisited and edited as your life changes. Nothing is set in stone and a boundary that may serve you for one season may not afterwards, and that’s completely okay! Communicating to those close to you and in your workplace what is acceptable and not is the best way to avoid unnecessary confrontation and discomfort. Plus, it adds more rest, relaxation and enjoyment to your life. Talk about a win win!
As we wrap up our monthly intention of boundaries ask yourself a few questions. Do I feel more confident in setting boundaries? Can I feel and see the benefits of setting boundaries? How will I continue to check in on my boundaries? If you every feel stuck in your boundaries don’t hesitate to come back and explore each area in depth and use each weeks reflection questions as a resource to continuously build boundaries that will serve you.