Monday Must: Building Your Self Love Toolkit

Hi, my name is Pheona and I am a self-proclaimed lover of life. Much of my personal brand is around living a life that honours my most authentic self. Over the years, I’ve been able to get clearer about what this looks and feels like for me (moving my body, travelling, exploring new hobbies, creating art through different mediums, and connecting with people that bring me joy) and so much of my spare time is filled with doing those things!

My personal self-love toolkit has been a huge saviour on my journey navigating my 20’s. It has allowed me to learn and love myself more intimately year after year. This list is what I lean on to instill harmony in my relationship-to-self and also reset my mind, body and soul during crazy times. I hope that even 1 or 2 of these “self-love tools” can be adapted for your own tool-kit so that feeling happy, empowered and in flow is a state of being.  Happy self-loving!

Tend To Your Inner World.

In our day and age, it is extremely easy to remain distracted from the emotions that are simply looking for some TLC. The easier options often seem to be scrolling our social media feeds instead of journaling our thoughts, and numbing ourselves with Netflix instead of calling a friend for a sense of connection. What I’ve learned over the years is that we can’t outrun our emotions because our emotions will show up whether they are invited or not (sometimes at the worst times too). So, it is better to get comfortable with facing what is bubbling to the surface with grace and intention. Remember to handle your feelings with the same care you’d give someone you love, and don’t be ashamed to reach out to a therapist or your close circle for the emotional support you need. We are all human!

Move Your Body

Moving my body is a way that I choose to release stagnant energy or built-up emotions that have been hanging around for too long (thank you, endorphins). Leaning on activities such as dance or sport, more specifically, is my way of connecting with my inner child through activities that I loved doing as a kid. The level of presence and flow that I experience during these activities is so rewarding, and I truly recommend it to be as an instant joy-booster.

Dream, and then plan!

“Dream, and then plan!”  is a motto that I live by and it represents the two-sided reality that dreaming about the life we want is a beautiful way to feel reinvigorated, but that we also need to take action to experience the things that we want. Bucketlists have been my way of putting my dreams on paper and slowly making them a reality.  It is my giant “life to-do list” that I refresh every few years, and it keeps the experiences that I’d like to have at the forefront of my mind. It’s a great way to not lose sight of how you want to spend your time here on earth in the midst of day-to-day living.

Define your self-care routine

Your self-care routine should be made of up the unique ways that you can meet your own needs. It is not only about the coping mechanisms that you turn to during more challenging times, but also the standards for your day-to-day wellbeing. How much alone time do you need? What are your mental and emotional boundaries with others? How do you unwind after work? What things do you like doing alone that help you feel connected to yourself and how often do you do these? What do you need to do for yourself to make you feel cared for? These are some thought-starters to help you develop a self-care routine that works for you.

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I am also the owner of a boutique store called, Beautiful Thingss, where I sell natural hair products to help women embrace and care for their natural hair.